Gather ’round, internet fam, I have a story to tell.
Many of you know me for my mandala designs, among my other sillier creations. And I just realized that I haven’t ever really told the story of why they are so important to me.
The brief history of mandalas and their introduction into present-day pop culture.
Drawing and coloring mandalas, for many folks, is a form of meditation. Historically, that is how the creation of mandalas began. I recall that in more recent times, the trend of “world cultures” was promoted and capitalized upon during the 90s. And with it came the mandala designs of India and the Far East. They were slapped on CDs and posters, t-shirts, totes, and whatever else the promoters thought would sell. Do we blame Sting for his tantric hits? Or Madonna for whatever she was doing at the time? The truth is that many people in the Western Hemisphere have always felt drawn to the rich tapestry of cultures from “exotic” places, and their impact has been felt reverberating throughout our history. Sometimes that leads to exploitation of the culture, and sometimes it leads to a deeper respect and understanding. That, however, is usually up to each individual. We can be students of the world and all of its many cultures, or we can be consumers, grazing on whatever is most popular at the time.
My introduction to mandala designs traces back to my high school days. The local community college was hosting a group of Tibetan Buddhist monks performing live sand mandala painting. They would work on an intricate design with many colors of sand, and then at the end of the visit, the sand would be scattered. Destroying the mandala. To symbolize the impermanence and beauty of life. I still have some of that sand in a baggy somewhere. Everyone in attendance was given a small handful. That day, I realized that art could be more than just whatever weird creatures I was drawing. My doodles took on a more whimsical nature, filigree and flourishes at every turn.
I also tried to be less precious with my art. For a long time, that did NOT work for me. I was extremely attached to everything I created, for better or worse. That all changed more recently, when my family and I were struck with more than our fair share of tragedy. Although I have always felt compelled to draw, these traumatic events pushed me to my breaking point, and I found solace in creating many kinds of art, particularly mandalas.
A wild ride from beginning to end. CW: pregnancy loss
In the early months of 2021, I was pregnant when I went through a laparoscopic cystectomy and was diagnosed with endometriosis. 2 weeks later, I lost the pregnancy and was hospitalized while I went through the stillbirth of my first child. Also during that same time, a family member passed due to pneumonia after catching COVID. 2 weeks after that, our home was damaged during a wind storm, and a tree branch punched through the wall of my home office. Within the following months, I had car troubles and then a car accident that ended up totaling my car. Around that same time, another older family member passed away. 2021, to be blunt, was hell for my family.
Fast forward a couple of years, and we have had a successful pregnancy and given birth to a lovely little girl. We wanted to have one more child, and so we became pregnant again in April of 2025. By early July, we knew something was wrong and were advised by our doctors that they could no longer detect a heartbeat, and my body was in the beginning stages of miscarrying again.
Throughout all of this trauma and grief, one thing that I have held onto and used to heal was/is art. I have begun creating again, and it feels like with each piece I finish, I am putting pieces of myself back together. With the support of my husband, our daughter, our friends, family, and my art, I feel the strength to carry on. Even when I’m tired, broken, and spent.
I don’t think it’s hyperbolic to say that my mind, without art in general, and mandalas specifically, would be a far less pleasant place to exist. I owe my life to the art that I create and to those who support me on my journey to continue creating.
So that’s probably you. Thank you. I love you.
– Camacho